Dustin’s childhood and young adult life were happy and normal. He was an easy going young man that loved to play golf and snow ski. He made friends quickly, which was a good thing because my husband’s job required we move frequently. Dustin graduated from Southwestern University with a degree in chemistry and was fortunate to go directly to work for the Oklahoma Bureau of Investigation (OSBI) as a Forensic Chemist.
After two years at his new job, Dustin began to lose weight rapidly and had frequent headaches. He was initially diagnosed as having panic attacks. One day Dustin called me saying his headaches were making him sicker and he couldn’t move his right side. I immediately left my home in Kansas and drove to Dustin’s apartment in Oklahoma City.
We checked him into the hospital where I pressed the doctors to check his brain because a family member had died of a brain tumor. My husband took the next flight out and joined me at the hospital. The news was not good. Dustin was diagnosed with a large malignant brain tumor located at the cerebellum. He was prepped for surgery right away.
That night changed all our lives forever.
At the hospital, all our friends and family gathered along with Dustin’s colleagues from the OSBI. After surgery, the doctors advised us he probably would not live through the night. But he did. When he did wake from surgery, it was to a totally different life.
Dustin had to learn to crawl, walk with a walker, learn to speak again and accept that his eyesight would never be the same. He was 25 years old and engaged. What did the future hold? All our hope rested in Jesus. Dustin was never bitter, instead he worked hard to do what he could to keep us going.
Five years later, Dustin’s father was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. I thought God had abandoned us. But, He hadn’t. Watching my family go through such sickness, somehow I moved away from God for awhile. The beautiful thing was that neither my husband or my son abandoned their close walk with God.
Dustin lived 11 years after the initial diagnosis, two years longer than his father.
The last few months of Dustin’s life were very difficult for me because he experienced ‘radiation necrosis’. The good brain tissue was too exposed during radiation. Dustin started losing his memory and his eyesight. He needed round the clock care. I kept him at home as long as I could, eventually placing him in a health care facility. He remained there for about 8 months before he went to be with the Lord.
I visited Dustin daily when he was in the facility; I cried every day. He read his Bible faithfully, perhaps because he knew he would eventually become completely blind. Here are a few quotes and sayings I remember from those days.
On Manners
- Dustin was grateful for the smallest things. Every bite of food he was given he’d say “Thank you.” His manners were impeccable and he would always wait until everyone was served before he would eat. One day, I was sitting beside him just before he was to be served his dinner. He said “Mom, I don’t have a dime to pay for this meal.” I said, “It’s taken care of. Don’t worry about it.” He said, “Did you get the gratuity also?”
- The nurses told me Dustin was one of their most polite patients. He said ‘thank you’ for everything. They loved him.
- Dustin asked one of the CNA’s what she would like for Christmas. He said, “You’re always doing so much for me.”
Joyful Courage
- Dustin said, “You know they say Blonde’s can’t multitask but my mom has proven them all wrong.”
- Our Pastor asked Dustin if he was in pain. He’d say, “No, just hunger pains.”
- The nurse said to Dustin, “You are about to bite your mom’s finger.” He replied, “Oh, that’s okay, my mom is low calorie.”
- Dustin once asked the nurse, “Do you know where my parental advocate is?”
- I told Dustin “You’re almost finished with your tray.” He replied, “I don’t remember eating plastic.”
- A man who was hard of hearing turned on the TV very loud. Dustin said, “Did my ears just open up?”
- Dustin once said, “I’m a confused guy today.” I replied, “That makes two of us.” He responded with, “If you think you’re a guy, you’re more confused than I am.”
- I said “Dustin, open your mouth and I’ll feed you some chicken.” He responded with “Dead or alive?”
Wisdom in the Last Days
- About being blind, Dustin said, “Mom, it’s really okay for me to be blind because you know I don’t like to see people suffer.”
- When our Pastor said “We are all praying for you.” Dustin replied, “Prayer is better than any antibiotic.”
- On a day I wore a velvet dress, Dustin said, “Oh, mom! I love the feel of velvet. It’s so soft. Isn’t it wonderful that my touch, smell and hearing are so good even though I can’t see you anymore.”